Pigskin Prognostications, Week 1

First game of the 2008/2009 NFL season starts tonight, and so I'll begin my weekly pigskin prognostications:

• Giants 24, Redskins 13 - 'Skins offense too anemic, and the returning champs roll
• Lions 23, Falcons 10 - If Atlanta played a legitimate team, this game would be a blowout
• Bengals 20, Ravens 13 - Flacco will be flaccid for Baltimore, but their D will score
• Seahawks 24, Bills 13 - Buffalo's QB Edwards has no protection from Seattle's defense
• Jets 27, Miami 17 - As improved as Miami is, they're too Farve behind to keep it close
• Patiots 34, Chiefs 9 - Brady's bad ankle? A figment of Kansas City's imagination
• Saints 24, Bucs 20 - Tampa's D will score, but Brees & co. have too much offense to contain
• Eagles 31, Rams 10 - McNabb is renewed, and Philly's defense is, too
• Steelers 23, Texans 13 - If Houston could just put an O-line together....
• Jaguars 20, Titans 16 - Tennessee's defense is fierce, but so is Vince Young's ineptitude
• Cowboys 31, Browns 21 - Cleveland's corners are too green to sTOp TO
• Chargers 20, Carolina 17 - If Steve Smith weren't suspended, this might go the other way
• Cardinals 24, 49ers 13 - S.F. will turn the ball over too much because of Marts's schemes
• Colts 31, Bears 8 - Kyle Orton? Matt Forte? Against last year's #1 defense? Please.
• Packers 17, Vikings 14 - Packers' O-line is much better than the Vikes' O-line
• Broncos 21, Raiders 3 - Shanahan can't decide on a running back, but it's the Raiders!

Who's going to the Super Bowl? Not me, 'cause tickets for that sucker are just too darn expensive.