The 333 Best Pop Songs of the 2000s: #209

#209: "God Put a Smile on Your Face" (2007) - Mark Ronson

Let's officially welcome in the new year with the adage, "Out with the old, and in with the new," 'cause that's certainly what producer extrodinaire Mark Ronson (remember him, from way back in the countdown, co-producing Nikka Costa's record?) does with the Coldplay cut. He excised the vocals and punched up the track with drumming straight from the Ventures and horns straight from Detroit, plus a few little Space Invaders synth effects, effectively taking a mundane rock track and creating something new, something hot, something that moves, something that matters, something we should all resolve to do this year.

The 333 Best Pop Songs of the 2000s: #210

#210: "I'll Remember You Long" (2007) - Golden Animals

Okay, we've all sung a round (or dozen) of "Auld Lang Syne," and some of us are recovering from hangovers, and some of us are still partying. Well, for those to whom this does apply, then I give you this one. "I'll Remember You Long" is a closing time, hoist-your-beer-in-the-air singalong. The tune sounds as if it were written, oh, seventy-or-so years ago, perhaps an unearthed Hoagy Carmichael/Johnny Mercer tune. The song uses a Tin Pan Alley melodic structure, and Tommy Eisner's lead vocals hark back to that crooner style of pre-WWII. The production, though, is rooted in the reverb and echo of Sun studios and Gretsch guitars; but the drumming here is modern--loose and minimalist, similar to the playing of Mo Tucker and Meg White. This odd combination of epoch-spanning styles gives the record a unique feel, one that's both fresh and familiar, a sepia-tinted coctail, one part rock, one part blues, and one part jazz, with just a touch of sentiment. Have one on me, pahdner.

You can hear more of the Golden Animals' sonorous stylings at their MySpace page.

The 333 Best Pop Songs of the 2000s: #211

#211: "Move Your Feet" (2003) - Junior Senior

It's New Year's Eve, people! Get out there and party like it's 2009! Shake your tailfeather and move your feet! If you've got no place to go, just head on down the block, 'cause I'm the DJ tonight, and I'm playing this song.

The 333 Best Pop Songs of the 2000s: #212

#212: "Keep Me in Your Heart" (2003) - Warren Zevon

His friends and family brought lawyers, guns, and money, 'cause the shit had hit the fan, but it couldn't keep lung cancer from taking the Excitable Boy, the Werewolf of London, the satirical singer, always just this side of cynical, from us in 2003. This recording, from Zevon's last album, is his plea for all of us who loved him or his music. It lets us know--as if we didn't already--that he was a sentimental fool at heart, as are we all. But we all couldn't rock so righteously--and with such wit and honesty--as he.

Rest in peace, Mr. Zevon. We'll keep you right here.

The 333 Best Pop Songs of the 2000s: #213

#213: "Before I Grow Too Old (Silver and Gold) (2003) - Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros

Singing an old Fats Domino song, transforming the New Orleans R&B/blues shuffle to a country/folk back-porch sway, Strummer--co-founder & lead singer of the Clash, one of the best bands rock and roll (or punk) has ever produced--sounds meditative, yet loose and hopeful, on what's essentially a demo that his then band (and they're great, here), the Mescaleros, put to disc posthumously, as Strummer died of a congenital heart defect in December of 2002.

Strummer's death was no more tragic than anyone else's nor more heartbreaking, but the timeliness of it--dying not too long after he recorded this take--makes this record all the more prescient and harrowing. Of course, Strummer didn't know, but you wouldn't know that from listening to this record, 'cause even though he sounds (fairly) upbeat, the Mescaleros play as if they knew, 'cause this is the best they ever sounded, their playing so empathic, sounding like The Band at their best, which is, pretty much, as great as any rock band ever...even the Clash.

Rest in peace, Mr. Strummer. Hope you got a chance to do everything you wanted, 'cause London's calling you now.

Pigskin Prognostications: Wild-Card Weekend

Man...these are some great matchups. Not a stinker among them. Can't say that too often about this round of the NFL Playoffs.

Falcons 30, Cardinals 20 - You know, if Arizona had any semblance of a running game, they could win this one, 'cause Atlanta can't stop the run well.

Colts 34, Chargers 17 - I believe San Diego is going to find that Indianapolis's pass rushers are much better than any they've face these past four weeks.

Ravens 17, Dolphins 14 - Baltimore's going to be favored pretty highly, and I'm picking them, too, but I'm picking them because Flacco's the real deal, and his receivers have improved much throughout the year, not because of their vaunted defense (which, it should be said, should be vaunted). Miami's faced--and defeated--tough defenses this season. They keep things close: they run the ball well, and they play ball control, and they don't allow teams to notch big plays. Baltimore does, too, though, and their running game--and their D--has been better than Miami's throughout the season.

Eagles 20, Vikings 10 - I think Tavaris Jackson will have a much tougher go of it than McNabb will. Much tougher. However...the Eagles don't have the toughest run defense in the league, and Minnesota sports the league's best runner, so, I think the Vikings will keep it close for awhile.

Fifth Down, Week Seventeen

Well, the regular season's over, and my life has slowed down a bit, so finally--finally--I'll tally up the entire season's worth of predictions and see how I did. But first, this weekend. As always, my original predictions are in italics.

Falcons 31, Rams 13 - Win. Atlanta's playing for a first-round bye, and St. Louis is playing for their coach's job. Motivation for both is almost equal. Talent, of course, is not. Actual score: Falcons 31, Rams 27.

Patriots 34, Bills 16 - Win. The past five weeks, New England has looked like it did during the regular season last year, and--with a playoff spot on the line--I expect no different this week. Though I had no idea the winds would swirl on the field at 50 m.p.h. Actual score: Patriots 13, Bills 0.

Chiefs 28, Bengals 17 - Loss. KC might blow another close one, but I really admire their quarterback, so here's hoping...AND that shutout Cincinnatti took from Cleveland was one taken from an offensively-anemic team with a fourth-round QB starting. From what I saw of the game, Cincinnatti's D and their running game looked, uh, good! Actual score: Bengals 16, Chiefs 6.

Bears 17, Texans 10 - Loss. I give this one to Chicago based on motivation, because with Houston--especially after last week's whodathunkit loss to Oakland--it all depends on...man, I don't know. Looks like Houston's for real, as is Oakland (see below). Actual score: Texans 31, Bears 24.

Vikings 20, Giants 18- Win. New York will rest Brandon Jacobs and--after the first quarter--most of their starters. I came this close to nailing this one on the head. Actual score: Vikings 20, Giants 19.

Panthers 35, Saints 28 - Win. The Panthers are still trying to secure that first-round bye and not drop from second seed to fifth seed, but Brees is only 402 yards away from Marino's passing yards record, so this one should be good. It was good...if you don't mind watching offensive (meaning the defenses were offensive) scoring fests. Actual score: Panthers 33, Saints 31.

Steelers 21, Browns 0 - Win. The Steelers will probably rest prominent starters after the first half (or first quarter), but even then.... They didn't rest Ben Roethlisberger soon enough (concussion), but it didn't really matter. Savage is gone, and Crennell soon will be. Actual score: Steelers 31, Browns 0.

Buccaneers 24 , Raiders 10 - Loss. Is JaMarcus Russell finally starting to bloom? Maybe so, but I believe the Bucs--hoping for a playoff berth--will stunt his growth this week. Russell's finally playing near his potential, and the Raiders have hope for next year. Actual score: Raiders 31, Buccaneers 24.

Titans 19 , Colts 17 - Loss. They'll both rest starters early, so this will essentially be like a pre-season game, and Tennessee's deeper on D than Indianapolis is, therefore.... I was completely wrong about depth, but not wrong about Tennessee resting their starting QB early, which is what led to this loss: Vince Young was terrible. Actual score: Colts 23, Titans 0.

Lions 17, Packers 16 = Loss. I think Green Bay will win, but I'm not betting any money on any of my picks, so here's hoping that Detroit will avoid the biggest one-season donut in the history of the NFL. Sad. Truly sad. Marinelli's gone. He's gotta go. Not the worse team ever, though. Again, did anyone ever watch the '80 Saints? Actual score: Packers 31, Lions 21.

Ravens 20, Jaguars 10 - Win. Baltimore's fighting for a playoff spot, and Jacksonville's had some internal goings-on this week. Wow, Flacco looked great! Actual score: Ravens 27, Jaguars 7.

Cardinals 27, Seahawks 20 - Win. Yeah, Seattle's been playing great lately, and this is Mike Holmgren's last game, but I just don't believe Kurt Warner and the Birds will lay yet another stinker the week before they host their first playoff game in over forty years. Actual score: Cardinals 34, Seahawks 21.

Redskins 17, 49ers 13 - Loss. If last week's Washington team--and specifically their defense--shows up, this one's theirs. If not, then with the way Samurai Mike has his team primed, it could turn the other way. Actual score: 49ers: 27, Redskins 24.

Dolphins 19, Jets 18 - Win. I'm pulling for Pennington. I guess Farve had to have one more season in which he choked at the end and cost his team dearly. Actual score: Dolphins 24, Jets 17.

Cowboys 27, Eagles 24 - Loss. DeMarcus Ware may not set the single-season sack record in this one (for surely he'll be at least double-teamed), but with enough O-line devoted to him, the Eagles...nah. They won't have a prayer if they pass all day. Their only hope is to run right at Ware, and we all know how much Andy Reid likes to run. I was so completely wrong on this one. Romo was terrible. Awful. Stank. Stunk. I loved it. Actual score: Eagles 44, Cowboys 6.

Chargers 30, Broncos 23 - Win. Rivers has been playing the best ball of his career these past five weeks, and his best ball is as good as anyone else's this season. Actual score: Chargers 52, Broncos 21.

Record this week: 9-7
Record this year: 160-94
Percentage: 58.8%
Average record per week: 9.4 - 5.5 (yeah, I know...I forgot to call two games this year)
Summary: I might have made the playoffs, depending on which division I was in.
Fantasy Football summary: I finished fifth in the league. No trophy. I'll have to hand it over to Scott Hines in September. Bummer.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Twelve

Day 12: Showcase #94 - Jim Aparo, pencils and inks (1977).



The inevitability of death and maxim/cliché of "life goes on" struck me cold in the summer before first grade when I saw this cover. I knew what death was, but--up until that point--hadn't known anybody that had died; in fact, I'd never even been to a funeral before. This cover, though, stuck with me, and for the next several years, whenever my mother would warn me not to do something 'cause I might break my neck and die, my mind flashed back to this cover, and I was always stilled, 'cause I knew that I was to die some day, and that when I did, the world would continue spinning madly on, and that people would press forward with their lives, and I that, of course, would not.

When these motherly admonitions occurred, I'd soon fish out this comic (still got it, too), and I'd notice how the new members of the Doom Patrol (if their name didn't spell out their fate, then the lettering of the word Doom on the cover certainly did) were huddled together behind the grave, impatient, ready for the new Robotman (well, at least a new Robotman frame) to dump the old on so that they could move on. That's what life and death is like, I thought.

Other times, I'd return to this cover, and I'd notice that the eyes of the original Robotman weren't quite lifeless--not like the cold, uncaring, inhuman slits of the the new shell; no, they were far from it. Those eyes display intense sorrow and grief. And the mouth--upside down as it is, it's a grimace (though, conversely and almost perversely, if you turn the comic upside down, then the grimace turns into a grin), further conveying not just the tragedy of the immediate situation, but the tragedy of life itself. What's a fate worse than death? One in which death is not final, one in which death is so much worse than life. On top of that, nobody really cares. Just look at the new Robotman's eyeslits.

Once I realized the ramifications of what stood behind that gaze, I stood numbstruck, and ever since, I've been a fatalistic fellow. Revelations marked the majority of my non-comic, non-required reading time for most of the first and second and third grades. I'd ask my parents question after question concerning doomsday, but their answers were either falsely (to me) optimistic or noncommittal. I was sure I was damned, ripe for the picking, and so I attended church and read my Bible and prayed as much as an elementary-school student could, and in ninth grade, a very close friend died, in a car wreck, killed by a drunk driver, and as I was at his funeral, I looked at the stoic gazes all around, and noticed how everyone just seemed to chitter-chat once my friend's body was committed to the earth, and they seemed to resume normal activity, and I thought about the new Doom Patrol, and their gaze, and I was sure then--as I'd felt since I first saw this when I was six-and-a-half--that the artist was a prophet of doom, and that somehow--somehow--I was at fault.

I returned home from the funeral, went to my room, and I pulled out this comic, and Cliff Steele's eyes were pleading with me, yet there was nothing I could do. I had sinned, and my friend had paid for it, and Robotman was damning me...but it didn't matter anyway, for Reagan was in his last term, and he was sure to cause worldwide nuclear destruction before he last office, just as many of my fellow churchgoers had predicted and prayed for (and I was a Methodist!), and so I decided to put away my comics for good since we all were doomed anyway; no joy could come from reading a comic for those eyes would always bore back at me no matter who drew the comic I looked at. Comic books were too adult, too depressing, so I put them away forever, so I that I could delve into much more lighthearted and life-affirming material: Marlowe, Hawthorne, Poe, and Dostoevsky. Those authors, to me, got it. They knew, too, that we were all doomed anyway, so why not have a little fun? This Jim Aparo guy...looked death straight in her gloomy eyes and did not flinch.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Eleven

Day 11: Batman #291 - Jim Aparo, pencils and inks (1977).



Preceded by a comic in which I truly believed that Batman could die (the splash page showed Batman, chained to a wall, with the Skull Duggers skull ray--from a cube--boring into his head, and Batman looked like he was in the worst torment ever), this one--by my Batman artist--promised that the Batman would die. And I believed it. It scared me. Not in the nightmare kind-of way; no, more so in the shaken-to-my-core kind-of way. Plus, Batman would, according to the cover, not R.I.P. He, like Carrie White, would burn in Hell. And that frightened me, too, for I was a big believer in Hell, and if the Batman were to go there--and he was a hero--then what hope would I have? Philosophically, this one--and my number one pick--changed my view of life.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Ten

Day 10: Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man - Carmine Infantino, layouts; Ross Andru, pencils; Dick Giordano, inks (1976).



I believe its iconic value speaks for itself, as does Infantino's fantastic design (what perspective!), but the reason I place this one this high is because for thirty years this was my holy grail, the one comic I wanted so badly but could not find. This comic sparked the only time I searched multiple comic book outlets for weeks on end trying to find one book. And I never found it. Not during my childhood, anyway. I did, though, finally procure myself a copy two years ago. And I've never read it. Stupid, yeah, but I'm afraid reading it would only disappoint what for thirty years was in my mind the end-all and beat-all of all comic books.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Nine

Day 9: X-Men #137 - John Byrne pencils, Terry Austin inks (1980).



As I stated before, John Byrne was my favorite artist when I was a child. His work--though undoubtedly at least partially dictated by script/storyline--always contained elements of the tragic, of those fighting forces they cannot fully overcome, and this tragic motif, combined with Byrne's style of Adams-like realism mixed with Kirby/Kane-type dramatics, clicked with me on a personal level (which I'll delve into with my top two choices), and nothing clicked so much as did this cover.

Also, as I have mentioned, I lost 90% of my comics collection to silverfish. This one, however, I did not lose. This one, I kept in my room. I never stored it away with the rest of the comics because, to me, this one was special. Of course, the high regard I held for this comic wasn't solely based on cover appeal nor solely on Byrne's artwork. This story, to me, was--comics or not--the most realistic story I had read up into that point, and it reflected my own piss-and-vinegar view of the world. Yes, I thought, someone finally got it right. This is the way the world will end: tragically. Yet, there on the cover, is not a picture of Jean Grey dead...or dying...or a hand laid out with a cuff nearby...nor an all-black cover. Nope. The cover shows Jean Grey, along with one of two of my childhood heroes, fighting the end that she brought on herself. She did not go gently unto that goodnight, even though she knew the goodnight was sure to come. Philosophically, this cover (along with the story inside) rang truer to me (then) than any comic cover has since.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Eight

Day 8: Thor #264 - Walt Simonson, pencils; Joe Sinnot, inks (1977).



Six years before he would break new ground with his singular style on the title (as well as the text of the title itself) in issue #337, Walt Simonson drew this doozy of a cover, with the Loki looming over the image of a embattled thunder god, apparently about to be snatched and eaten by the scariest googly-eyed frost giant I've ever seen. Simonson's impressive design skills were already at work here, using the speed lines from Mjolnir to separate Loki from his brother's battle (though I wonder what Simonson was thinking in using those computer-like backgrounds...maybe a tribute to Kirby, possibly). Sinnot's inks here keeps the cover rooted in the Marvel house style, and his lines are strong.

This one gave me the willies, as that frost giant looked very similar to a great uncle of mine whom I'd only see on occasion, always hovering over the potato salad with his cane at the ready.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Seven

Day 7: Spider-Woman #6 - Carmine Infantino, pencils; Steve Leialoha, inks (1978)

I first learned babies came from in the first grade (on the same day I discovered the true identity of Santa Claus, too). I understood the physics behind the male/female union, but I never understood the motivation. "Ick," I remember thinking. Later that year, I saw this cover, and everything made perfect sense. Spider-Woman's costume design has always been a provocative one, as the piping in the front accentuates the positives, but never have her assets been on a more, uh, selective display as they are, as the ropes not only bind her, they also...well...just look. William Moulton Marston would have been so proud.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Six

Day 6: Secrets of the Haunted House #6 - Bernie Wrightson, pencils & inks (1975)

I now give you a cover that frightened me so badly that not only did it haunt my dreams for years (and I'm not exaggerating), but it also scared me so that I couldn't buy it. Heck, I couldn't even flip it open. I never touched it (though I did finally buy it a few years back). I just saw it there in the rack, and I froze, transfixed. Wrightson--whose work I've come to adore--nails it oh so simply, with that outreaching arm inviting horrors unimaginable inside that gourd. And the complete black background commanded the eye to the center image, demanding you stare into the abyss. John Carpenter--eat your heart out.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Five

Day 5: Avengers #181 - George Perez, pencils; Terry Austin, inks (1979)

Growing up, I had two favorite comic artists: John Byrne and everyone else. Near the top among the latter, though, was George Perez. I knew that I'd have to pick a Perez for this list, but I've seen other Perez covers that--from an artistic perspective--I think are better than this one. BUT--I also wanted to have a cover that depicted a large conglomeration of heroes, and though I had several shortlisted (and some I think are better than this one), this is the one that combined Perez (with the great Terry Austin) with the large group shot (which is what he's famed for, anyway). There's also the thrill--especially when I first saw it in the spinner rack--of wondering whom the seven would be. I remember taking it to my grandmother's house, and just staring, wondering whom I'd pick. Sometimes, I still do.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Four

Day 4: The Flash #242 - Ernie Chan, pencils & inks (1975)

I was a stupid kid (and my IQ ain't risen since then, either). Anyone of you remember Zips sneakers? If so, remember the commercial? I do. I believed that if my parents bought me some Zips, that I could run as fast as those kids on that commercial, as fast as, say, the Flash.

I also believed that if I stuck my finger to the ground,

I could not only eliminate the Flash (should he ever come running 'round the corner), but anyone else, too. And I tried. It didn't work on my little sister, and it didn't work on my mom when she came running after me when I drove my bicycle too far down the sidewalk near a busy street. I stopped opposite Conn's Mini-Mart, and I kept touching my finger to the ground, but she kept coming (though once I got off my bike, she had stopped running, so I thought at the time that maybe it partially worked).

After a whooping of the tail, I went back inside and studied the cover again, to see if I'd perhaps used the wrong technique. I studied the Ernie Chan (pencils and inks) cover over and over, my wee brain awed by the stunned Flash--all in red, outlined in white and then yellow, against a stark black background--separated from the woman from the Electric Gang by the division between black background and grey stone wall. Best of all wasn't the lady's ghostlike silhouette, but her arm thrust into the foreground, the contrast giving the arm a lifelike dimension, so much so that I was positive a real person could truly eliminate the Flash...though eliminating my mother was a different story.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Three

Day 3: Weird War Tales #89 - Jim Starlin, pencils & inks (1980)

What's more evil than Nazis? Why, Nazi gorillas, of course! I had to have a primate pick on my list, and I was tempted to go with Bernard Baily's bizarre Gorilla Witch from Strange Adventures # 186, but I didn't want to step outside the silly parameters I set for myself (only including covers that grabbed me when comics first grabbed me), and this one's a much more powerful piece, anyway.

Starlin uses his compositional design style well, what with the top areas of white to set off the overhanging Nazi flag, and the five Primate Platoon soldiers (wonderfully colored, too, as the light blue provides a stark contrast with the red swastikas and the dark fur) replicate the center and the five points of the flag. And those suckers look fierce, too. This one pounced on me from the moment I walked into the store (as the spinner rack was only about five feet from the door), and it still won't get its damned dirty ape paws off me.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day Two

Day 2: Scooby Doo Mystery Comics #30 - Dan Spiegle, pencils/inks (1975 ).

I chose this cover not so much because I loved Scooby Doo (though I did), but because of the ghostly Native American chief pictured, and I'll tell you why this one caught my eye. My parents' friends lived a few houses down from my grandmother, and they had a son--Jay--near my age. One weekend, I walked down to Jay's house, and he wanted to play cowboys and Indians. Sounded fine with me. He handed me a pair of guns, a holster, and a hat, and he put the same on himself. I asked him who was going to play the Indian, and he told me that he knew a [I]real[/I] Indian. I wasn't that amazed, because I had seen plenty of real Indians, as my father (then) worked for the Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians.

Well, we went into his back yard, crossed over the fence, and there--on top of a nearby hill--was an Indian boy, in full regalia: face paint, feathers, the works. And he had a bow and arrow. And he was aiming at us. And he didn't move. Jay called out to him (though I don't remember what he said), and the boy didn't move. I asked Jay why he wasn't moving, and Jay said he didn't know. Jay called out to him one more time, and he still didn't move. Jay said something along the lines of "I guess he doesn't want to play. Let's go back." We did. But I chanced a look back right before we walked out of sight, and the boy was still there, only he had pivoted to where he was still pointing the arrow at us. At me!

Gave me nightmares for years. Seeing this cover in the spinner rack (and, of course, I've still got the comic) a few weeks/months later scared me still (at least for a few seconds). A still get a case of the willies if I stare at it too long.

The Twelve Days of Classic Comic Covers, Day One

Two weeks ago, on the Comic Book Resources Classic Comics forums, Kurt Mitchell, a contributor to Roy Thomas's All-Star Companion books (which can be purchased from TwoMorrows Publishing), initiated his annual Twelve Days of Classic Comics Christmas theads, and this year, the idea focused on favorite comic-book covers that were at least twenty-years old. I participated this year, and I've decided to share my ramblings. You can check out other posters' favorites here. Rather than make one gigantic post, I've decided to split these up into twelve separate posts.

Day 1: Nostalgia will be the colorist on all my covers, as I travel back to the spinner rack at Conn's Mini-Mart just half-a-block up from my grandparents' house. My aunt would take me there every Saturday, and I could buy just about anything I wanted. I stayed with my grandparents every weekend, and they didn't have much money, but there was always enough for me to buy comics. They (the comics) made me happy, and they kept me from bugging my relatives. So, with that said, my list is comprised of my personal favorites, regardless of whether or not any artistic merit could be lauded on the covers; I picked the ones that made me shout "Whee!" or "Oh my God!" on the inside when I first saw them on the rack.

With that disclaimer (which I think may be needed for this first pick, and maybe the second one, too), I give you:

The New Krofft Supershow #1 (1978)
Sure, the cover bears no drawing or inking, but those snapshots of Wildboy and Cindy (from the Bigfoot and Wildboy segment), the wildy-rockin' Dr. Kool and the Kongs (who--along with my dad and KISS--were my inspirations to become a musician), the cooler-than-Speedy talking-car Wonderbug, and the magical genie Mongo made my little heart a'flutter with joy, as I knew the comic had to be as exciting as the show. Right? Right?